Behind the words!

Hanging up on the 'phone

Even though I have lived and worked for European/Western companies in Japan, I made a mistake in a private context which might be helpful to others.

I was speaking to the mother of a friend of mine in Japan (who has little familiarity with English and Anglo-Saxon manners) and, when we had finished speaking, I said "Yoroshiku, o-negai- itashimasu｛「よろしくお願いします。」）" and hung up, exactly as I would have done when speaking to anyone else in any other country (in the relevant language!).
I have always worked in a business environment where one had a conversation, politely said goodbye and then hung up.

With close friends I tend to act similarly. When I later spoke to my Japanese friend and mentioned the conversation with her mother, she fell silent and, upon probing, I discovered that her mother had felt that I had - on that occasion and previously - hung up a little too abruptly ("いきなり”）and was slightly miffed.
I apologised to my friend, but realised that I simply hadn't understood the importance of Japanese telephone manners.

Obviously, it had not been my attention to offend, but I had offended nevertheless.
Thereafter, I learned the importance of the (to us Westerners) somewhat protracted leave-taking to end Japanese 'phone calls, saying (often several times), "Yoroshiku o- negai-itashimasu"（｛よろしくお願い致します。」）, "gomen kudasai（「ご免ください。」）," "shitsurei shimasu（「失礼しました。」）" or, "Doumo（「どうも。」）". In order to avoid any unintended offence, I can only recommend that, other than in telephone conversations with close friends, it is generally best spend a few extra moments to say and repeat several times the normal farewells at the end of telephone conversations.

In business 'phone calls this is particularly important.